Sharing 8/5

Out Pastor is going on vacation in a few weeks, and has a few Sundays to fill. He's asked some members of the congregation to share some testimony, scripture with the topic "God Has Taught Me ...". When he first asked, I wasn't sure I would do it, since I've not felt close to Him recently, so I really had no place in the pulpit. This isn't a sermon, but still.

Then someone who reads this blog, or at least found a post via Google or some other site, posted a comment on the post 'When It's All Been Said and Done' thanking me for posting the lyrics to that song. I hadn't heard it in a while so I pulled it up again. Wow. Talk about divine timing. There was my topic, and something I needed to hear right now. "God has taught me... that everything else is second to living for Him".

Don't let yourself get wrapped up in the learning, or guilt of not praying or reading the Bible enough, or whether tongues are for today, or if it's sin to read Harry Potter, or not go to church this Sunday cause the pastor said something you didn't like, or didn't talk to you as long as you wanted him to, or you think the Elders didn't give money to a missionary you support, or any other little thing. Are those non-issues? No, they may very well be important. But they are second to your relationship with God. If your mind is focused on an issue like the above and not on God and His Truth, then your focused on the wrong thing.

I've been focused on feeling like Amanda and I don't connect at our church like we used to. We've not been living for God and His Truth, so of course we feel like we aren't connected. We aren't! How can you connect with God's people when you're not connected with God!

So what does it mean? Forget everything else and just focus on talking to and opening up to God again. Everything else will flow from that.

Teen years?

It's facinating, really, the way we can ignore God. I'm hoping this time I'm going through is a kind of 'spiritual adolesence'. As children, we think our parents can do no wrong and run to them with everything. Then we slowly begin thinking we know know everything and strive for our indepentance. Hopefully, though, in the end we mature and come to appreciate our parents and have well rounded, respectful relationships. I know this was true with my Dad. My teenage years were full of rivalry between us. Now, we're friends and have a good relationship.

Is this also true of our relationship with God? After first being saved, do we see God rightly as one who can be completely trusted and followed? Then we go into adolesence and strive for independance as we begin to think we know it all? Is there a time of maturity when our relationship heals again?

Maybe the answer is yes and no. We are to be as little children, after all. Trusting and depending on God. But the move into our 'teen years' of independance and self-reliance isn't God's design. Neither is the adult relationship where one is independant of yet relating well to God.

So I need to step back, into a more child-like relationship with God. It means repenting again. Submitting again. Linden's sermon a couple weeks ago touched on this. At the Last Supper when Christ washes the disciples feet, He explains that they've had a bath and therefore only need their feet washed. We've already been cleaned by Christ's blood and became Christians. Now we only need to have Christ was our feet as we walk through life. It's been so long since I've done that, I'm dirty half way up my legs to the point I feel like I need a bath again. I don't, but the embarassment makes it hard to go back to Jesus.

Is it what I want? Yes and no. It's like dieting. Yes, I want to lose weight and know that I should, but don't want to go through the sacrifice and work to do it.

Do you go through this? Times when you want to be on your own and feel like a fool living for God? Embarassed to go back before Him again? Or back to the alter? How many times do we have to swallow our pride? Hopefully our pride shrinks and it gets easier. Doubt it, though.