I have a confession to make. I'm a daydreamer. I share this mainly as a chance for me just to own more of my identity and accept who God has created in me. It came in handy as a kid, since I was the only boy and often played alone. That and we lived in the country so long rides in the car or bus were the norm. Escaping into my own mind was just a form of entertainment to pass the time. I still do this. It's not uncommon for me to make the drive to and from work in silence with only my thoughts.
As an adult, it's something I had come to be ashamed of. It always seemed childish and something I should have grown out of. Kids play make-believe, not adults. I believed that if someone were to see the daydreams I had, they would make fun of me or at least think less of me. And to be sure, some of them are self-indulgent. In some, I invent some new wonderful invention, or pilot a starship, or just inherit millions of dollars. Not exactly scholarly and I'm sure my sisters would tease me about them. Worse yet, if my pastor, wife or other Christians heard maybe I'd be thought of as immature and selfish.
However, I'm beginning to think that there are many more people out there who share this particular personality (I won't say quirk) attribute. TV shows and movies often use the daydream in their plot (Scrubs as the whole point of the show.) Even though these are often showed in the absurd, it seems that the writers must be pretty familiar with daydreams themselves. It is my hunch that many professional writers (TV, movies, books, comics and cartoons) must be daydreamers and they work out storylines in their head. If so, then this ability is something that had been put in them for a purpose and is used to a creative end.
I see that in my own life. Many of the things I've written on this blog have come out of my inclination to get lost in my own thoughts. Sometimes I'll be preaching in my head, a full on in-the-pulpit daydream. What comes out in that, comes out on paper. I've even preached some of those in the flesh afterward. The ability to dream, literally inhabit a new world lets us open the door to new possibilities. For me, it also lets me flesh those out and discover possible problems, pick from multiple options and generate a best picture view of something.
However, it also has a dark side. Just like anything, what God meant for good Satan can use for evil. I can find myself focusing on a story or idea and it distracts from the real world. As an example, I quite playing the lotto years ago because when I played, I'd find myself thinking about winning that money. Problem was, I wouldn't deal with the financial issues I had because that big paycheck might be just around the corner. But the next drawing is always around the corner and I was stuck in a rut of bad choices. These dreams can keep me from dealing with problems in my life and even create new ones.
I bring all this up now because I noticed last week that I had only posted to my blog twice in May. I wondered why and realized that my mind had been off on it's own private fantasy and not on God. Without my mind on God, He hadn't been speaking to me and I wasn't writing. I shared some of this with my men's group. I was very scared they would think less of me, but fear is not from God and we need to be open for there to be healing. So I shared and we prayed. I think they thought I was being silly. However it worked. Since that night, whenever I would normally shift into a dream, I can feel an almost physical block to do so. Jesus keeps my mind from going there, I notice it and am reminded of His faithfulness to answer prayer. It puts my mind on Him.
I shared this with my wife on Friday, fearfully again. She said "Jason, I've always thought very highly of you even if you daydream." Those words really released me from the guilt and shame I had been feeling. There was nothing to fear. Rather, I need to accept the person God has made me to be and use that as a strength while realizing the dangers that come with it. This is true for all the gifts, abilities and personality traits that God weaves in us.
So in spirit of my wife's immortal words. "I'm a dreamer so you can kiss my butt!"
As an adult, it's something I had come to be ashamed of. It always seemed childish and something I should have grown out of. Kids play make-believe, not adults. I believed that if someone were to see the daydreams I had, they would make fun of me or at least think less of me. And to be sure, some of them are self-indulgent. In some, I invent some new wonderful invention, or pilot a starship, or just inherit millions of dollars. Not exactly scholarly and I'm sure my sisters would tease me about them. Worse yet, if my pastor, wife or other Christians heard maybe I'd be thought of as immature and selfish.
However, I'm beginning to think that there are many more people out there who share this particular personality (I won't say quirk) attribute. TV shows and movies often use the daydream in their plot (Scrubs as the whole point of the show.) Even though these are often showed in the absurd, it seems that the writers must be pretty familiar with daydreams themselves. It is my hunch that many professional writers (TV, movies, books, comics and cartoons) must be daydreamers and they work out storylines in their head. If so, then this ability is something that had been put in them for a purpose and is used to a creative end.
I see that in my own life. Many of the things I've written on this blog have come out of my inclination to get lost in my own thoughts. Sometimes I'll be preaching in my head, a full on in-the-pulpit daydream. What comes out in that, comes out on paper. I've even preached some of those in the flesh afterward. The ability to dream, literally inhabit a new world lets us open the door to new possibilities. For me, it also lets me flesh those out and discover possible problems, pick from multiple options and generate a best picture view of something.
However, it also has a dark side. Just like anything, what God meant for good Satan can use for evil. I can find myself focusing on a story or idea and it distracts from the real world. As an example, I quite playing the lotto years ago because when I played, I'd find myself thinking about winning that money. Problem was, I wouldn't deal with the financial issues I had because that big paycheck might be just around the corner. But the next drawing is always around the corner and I was stuck in a rut of bad choices. These dreams can keep me from dealing with problems in my life and even create new ones.
I bring all this up now because I noticed last week that I had only posted to my blog twice in May. I wondered why and realized that my mind had been off on it's own private fantasy and not on God. Without my mind on God, He hadn't been speaking to me and I wasn't writing. I shared some of this with my men's group. I was very scared they would think less of me, but fear is not from God and we need to be open for there to be healing. So I shared and we prayed. I think they thought I was being silly. However it worked. Since that night, whenever I would normally shift into a dream, I can feel an almost physical block to do so. Jesus keeps my mind from going there, I notice it and am reminded of His faithfulness to answer prayer. It puts my mind on Him.
I shared this with my wife on Friday, fearfully again. She said "Jason, I've always thought very highly of you even if you daydream." Those words really released me from the guilt and shame I had been feeling. There was nothing to fear. Rather, I need to accept the person God has made me to be and use that as a strength while realizing the dangers that come with it. This is true for all the gifts, abilities and personality traits that God weaves in us.
So in spirit of my wife's immortal words. "I'm a dreamer so you can kiss my butt!"
3 comments:
I'm sure that some of our greatest thinkers were daydreamers. How else could they have come up with light bulbs, cars, or the Constitution? Here's and easy one...Martin Luther King, "I Have a Dream". I don't think that was a tag line, it was a proclamation. Take someone who draws comics...you know Stan Lee is a heck of a dreamer. I'd be willing to bet that the average church planter is quite the dreamer as well.
It's good to recognize gifts because once you do, you understand how those gifts can be exploited or abused. You've learned that already. I think one of our greatest strengths is being aware of our weaknesses.
Now you've got that song in my head...oh no...youtube search for Monkees video..
A couple of years ago, I read a book about a man who daydreamed constantly [by his own admission]. Sometimes, he would leave the office early to go down by the creek, lay on the green grass and daydream with the sun on his face.
This man later became a lawyer in Boston and a political figure. In fact, some say he was the one who persuaded George Washington to lead the Continental Army.
For good measure, he was the first Vice-President and the second President. His name; John Adams
Post a Comment