Well, I meet tomorrow with Linden and Mark, our Sr. Pastor and Administrative Pastor, to further discuss possibility of a Pastoral Internship. It was approved by the Elders, so we need to go over the details.
I'll tell you, it really feels like God is playing a game of 52-pick-up with my life right now. In four months I've gone from working my FT job and hoping that I could work towards being a pastor soon, to soon not having the FT job, considering school and a previously non-existent internship at my church. My wife and I feel like everything stable is gone right now and we are quite without direction.
Few of us ever hear an audible word from God. For me, it's often more of just an instinct I feel that may not make much sense.
Example: My wife's employer was in a renovated house and we almost rented the apartment upstairs from him. Even though it was a great situation, my instincts told me no. It felt like God was keeping us from taking it, so we passed. Most of the company, including Amanda, was laid off just a few months later. What would have been very convenient would have now been very, very awkward.
Today, I don't hear God saying anything clearly about my job or future. It's just this instinct that God is going to provide in pieces, even week to week or day to day for a while. During that time, I'll be working for the church, going to school, and getting prepared. It will be a time of purging and preparation.
I'm very scared for it. Not myself, so much, but for my wife. It's hard not to be able offer her a sense of security and stability. Those things need to come from God, so maybe that's the lesson for both of us.
Pray for us that God will speak comfort and confirmation to us.
I'll tell you, it really feels like God is playing a game of 52-pick-up with my life right now. In four months I've gone from working my FT job and hoping that I could work towards being a pastor soon, to soon not having the FT job, considering school and a previously non-existent internship at my church. My wife and I feel like everything stable is gone right now and we are quite without direction.
Few of us ever hear an audible word from God. For me, it's often more of just an instinct I feel that may not make much sense.
Example: My wife's employer was in a renovated house and we almost rented the apartment upstairs from him. Even though it was a great situation, my instincts told me no. It felt like God was keeping us from taking it, so we passed. Most of the company, including Amanda, was laid off just a few months later. What would have been very convenient would have now been very, very awkward.
Today, I don't hear God saying anything clearly about my job or future. It's just this instinct that God is going to provide in pieces, even week to week or day to day for a while. During that time, I'll be working for the church, going to school, and getting prepared. It will be a time of purging and preparation.
I'm very scared for it. Not myself, so much, but for my wife. It's hard not to be able offer her a sense of security and stability. Those things need to come from God, so maybe that's the lesson for both of us.
Pray for us that God will speak comfort and confirmation to us.
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